I watched an episode of "Empty Nest" this morning where Carol was freaking out that she didn't feel a bond with her baby when she was four months pregnant. She checked off 20 physical symptoms that indicated she was having the perfect pregnancy.
But then she turned to that page in her book.
The one that said at month four, you should feel a bond with your baby now.
And she freaked.
She stumbled on her mother's diary and found an entry that marked the day she found out she was with child. She said it was unexpected. This cut to the heart of Carol. She suddenly felt like she wasn't wanted.
Spoiler alert: there was another entry later in the diary that was a note written to Carol saying how excited her mother was to meet her and how much she already loved her.
So two things here:
A bond with your baby can happen at ANY time. More details below.
The energy and emotions that occur prior to delivery will be in your baby's system. Discussed in another post as Part 2.
Let's talk more about #1: A bond with your baby can happen at any time.
I don't like the word bond, so let's call it falling in love.
While you are pregnant, there is so much going on with your baby. Physically, she's growing and developing. Energetically, your baby's heart and soul is coming in and out between this world and another. They are not formally here to stay until they are ready, which I believe happens right before delivery. Otherwise, they are bouncing between the two places.
Around 16 weeks you might begin to feel those amazing flutters. That undeniable proof that you are going to be someone's mommy.
Those moments will give you physical proof that you are the home to your developing bundle of joy.
The emotional part... some women fall deeply in love with with their baby almost instantly. And for others, sometimes it takes time after the birth. Maybe weeks or months.
No matter which camp you might fall into, it's ok. Do not beat yourself up. Instead just appreciate that you are where you are on the journey.
There could be various reasons why you have not yet fallen in love with this child. They may include:
Energetically, you have stuff in the way that needs to be cleared out. We can carry around a lot of emotions and experiences that caused us to be hurt, embarrassed, sad, traumatized, etc. When life isn't so good for us, we collect those instances and, more often than not, shove them back down so we don't have to relieve the pain. This impacts your ability to sense or feel their sweet pure energy.
Your baby isn't in this world so much yet. While they are off elsewhere, you may not have had too much of an opportunity to feel their spirit, hear, or soul yet.
You do not know how to get into a mental place that you can relax and connect with them. You have yet to learn how to get into your heart where "troubles melt like lemon drops" (Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Wizard of Oz).
So you see, it's nothing that you've done or are incapable of working on.
In Part 2, "Passing On More Than Just Your Eyes", we talk about the energy you pass onto your baby that affects the pregnancy and birthing.